Red One (2024)

Release Date: November 9, 2024
Director: Jake Kasdan
Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Chris Evans, J.K. Simmons

Amazon Prime has been flexing its budget muscles with holiday movies, and Red One is the latest big swing. A holiday action flick starring Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans sounded like the kind of festive chaos I could get behind. It promised the bromance we didn’t know we needed, with explosions, laughs, and a swole Santa to boot. But as I pressed play with a mug of hot cocoa in hand, I quickly realized I was in for something else entirely. Something… confusing.

A Festive Mess of a Premise

The movie kicks off in snowy Philadelphia, with holiday cheer spread thick—mall Santas, twinkling lights, and kids lining up for pictures with Santa Claus himself. Except this isn’t your average mall Santa. Nope, this is the real Santa, played by the ever-reliable J.K. Simmons, who’s swapped cookies for protein shakes. Santa’s got abs, a security detail, and apparently, a target on his back.

Enter Callum Drift (Dwayne Johnson), the North Pole’s head of security—and, yes, the world’s most jacked elf. You read that right: Johnson is an elf. Meanwhile, Chris Evans plays Jack O’Malley, a rogue agent reluctantly dragged into saving Christmas when Santa gets kidnapped by a mysterious villain. The concept sounds ridiculous in the best way, like Die Hard meets The Santa Clause. Unfortunately, Red One doesn’t know what to do with its wild premise, and the result is a tone-deaf mess.

A Bromance That Never Clicks

Let’s talk about the biggest letdown: the chemistry—or lack thereof—between Johnson and Evans. Separately, they’re both charismatic powerhouses, but together? It’s like watching two actors who filmed their scenes in different time zones. Their banter is forced, their jokes land flat, and the much-hyped buddy-cop dynamic never really takes off.

Johnson plays Callum with his usual brand of no-nonsense bravado, but the whole “brawny elf” gimmick runs out of steam fast. The joke is funny for about five minutes before the movie starts beating it into the ground. Meanwhile, Evans channels a wisecracking action hero vibe, but he seems just as confused about the movie’s tone as the audience. One minute he’s cracking jokes; the next, he’s brooding like he’s in Captain America: Winter Wonderland.

Without a solid dynamic between the leads, the movie’s emotional beats fall completely flat. There’s no camaraderie, no spark—just a lot of awkward dialogue and half-hearted attempts at humor.

Worldbuilding: Ambitious but Inconsistent

To its credit, Red One has a few interesting ideas. The North Pole is reimagined as a high-tech operation with gadgets, portals, and a militarized force protecting Santa’s sleigh. It’s like the Men in Black of Christmas lore, complete with snowman henchmen and a sprawling intelligence network.

But instead of leaning into this creative world, the movie constantly undercuts itself with sloppy writing and tonal whiplash. One moment, it’s trying to be a heartfelt Christmas movie; the next, it’s throwing in action sequences that feel ripped from a mediocre Marvel knockoff. The result is a jumbled mishmash of genres that never gels into something coherent.

Villains That Melt Faster Than Snowmen

A good holiday movie needs a memorable villain, but Red One delivers two that are utterly forgettable. Lucy Liu and Kiernan Shipka are criminally underused, their characters reduced to generic baddies with vague motives.

Liu has the charisma to command any scene, but her screen time is so limited that she never gets a chance to shine. Shipka, on the other hand, is saddled with a role that’s more annoying than menacing. Neither villain feels like a real threat, which leaves the story without any stakes.

Action, Laughs, and Holiday Spirit? Not Quite.

The action scenes are as uneven as the rest of the movie. There’s an early fight sequence in Evans’ apartment that shows promise, but everything after that feels phoned in. The choreography is uninspired, and the CGI-heavy set pieces lack any real excitement. It’s like the filmmakers checked a box labeled “action” and moved on without bothering to make it engaging.

And then there’s the humor. Or, rather, the lack of it. The movie tries to balance quippy one-liners with heartfelt moments, but the jokes rarely land. Instead of clever holiday-themed humor, we get a lot of tired gags and awkward exchanges.

Even the holiday spirit feels tacked on. Sure, there are Christmas trees and twinkling lights, but the movie doesn’t capture the warmth or magic of the season. It’s like a Christmas sweater that’s missing half its stitches—there’s a vague outline of holiday cheer, but it’s full of holes.

Bright Spot: Swole Santa to the Rescue

If there’s one saving grace, it’s J.K. Simmons as Santa Claus. Swole Santa is a wild concept, and Simmons sells it with just the right mix of gravitas and humor. He’s the only character who feels fully realized, bringing a genuine warmth and charm to the role. His scenes with the kids are surprisingly touching, and his badass moments provide a glimpse of what the movie could’ve been.

Final Thoughts: A Gift You Didn’t Ask For

At the end of the day, Red One is a holiday movie that tries to do too much and ends up delivering very little. The premise is fun, the cast is stacked, and the worldbuilding had potential, but it all falls apart under the weight of inconsistent writing and lackluster execution.

If you’re a die-hard fan of Johnson or Evans, you might find a few moments to enjoy, but for everyone else, Red One is more lump of coal than Christmas miracle. Save yourself the disappointment and rewatch Jingle All the Way or The Night Before instead.

Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 out of 10)