The Equalizer - 2014

Release Date: September 26, 2014
Director: Antoine Fuqua
Starring: Denzel Washington, Chloë Grace Moretz, Marton Csokas, and David Harbour

Alright, folks, let’s get one thing straight. The Equalizer is basically Denzel Washington being the ultimate “normal guy by day, superhero by night”—and honestly, I love it. This is like if Batman had an identity crisis and decided to work at Home Depot. You know, just a regular guy going about his regular life, minding his business, stocking shelves, sipping coffee at the local diner—then BAM! Someone does something bad in his general vicinity and it’s like “Time to turn into a one-man army and end the misery of this terrible villainous world”. And I’m here for it.

Now, let’s dive into this movie, which is, honestly, a masterclass in how to kick ass and look cool doing it—while also making you laugh because of how ridiculously cool Denzel is. It’s like watching your dad turn into an action hero in the most believable way possible. Like, “Wait, Dad, when did you learn how to fight like that?” But here’s the best part: he doesn’t even break a sweat. He just quietly sips his coffee, acts like he's just a guy doing a normal job, and then—BOOM—he’s kicking ass like he’s in an Avengers movie.

The Plot: A Normal Guy Doing Normal

Things Until Someone Messes With Him

Let’s break it down. Robert McCall (Denzel Washington) is a former black-ops operative—basically, he’s the James Bondof whatever organization he worked for. But in this movie, he’s just a regular dude. He wears a watch. He works at a hardware store. He even looks at the time like he’s waiting for the clock to hit 5:00 so he can go home. It’s like, “Okay, Denzel, this is a vibe.” But of course, the second he sees someone in trouble, it’s like a switch flips. Suddenly, he’s the avenging angel of justice, taking out bad guys like it’s a hobby, all while still wearing the same flannel shirt from the morning.

So what triggers the transformation? Well, it all starts when he meets Teri (Chloë Grace Moretz), a young prostitute who’s having a really bad day. And when I say bad day, I mean if your day involves getting beaten up by a bunch of Russian mobsters, you know things are going south. Robert, being the chill, retired ex-killer that he is, can’t just let that slide. Like, he’s like, “Oh, I used to kill people for a living... but now I’m gonna do it for free, because you need me, and you’re in trouble.” So what does he do? He takes it upon himself to take down the Russian mob and make sure the bad guys get the lesson of a lifetime.

Denzel Washington: The Coolest Guy Who Can Be Both Normal and Superhuman

Alright, let’s talk about Denzel. First of all, let’s just take a moment to appreciate the pure swagger that this man brings to everything he touches. I mean, Denzel could read the phone book out loud, and you’d be sitting there, like, “I’d like to watch this for 2 hours.” He doesn’t even need to try. He’s just effortlessly cool. I swear, this man could be holding a cup of coffee, and you’d be like, “He’s about to do some crazy sht* with that cup of coffee, isn’t he?” But instead of doing something ridiculous, he’s just like, “Nah, I’m gonna use this to break a few necks and save the day in a way that’s entirely too calm for anyone to understand.”

Denzel plays Robert McCall with a kind of understated badassery that’s like if you went to work with your regular office clothes, but the second you walk into a meeting, you start secretly taking down the whole company without anyone realizing. He’s like, “Oh, yeah, I’m just a regular guy with a regular job, but I can single-handedly take down a crime syndicate. Don’t mind me, I’m just here to help.”

The coolest thing about Denzel’s portrayal of McCall is that he’s not the typical “hero who wears a cape.” No, no, no. Robert McCall is the guy you’d expect to see at the local Home Depot helping you pick out a power drill. But when something goes wrong, and someone’s in trouble, he transforms into Batman—minus the gadgets and the annoying voice.

Action Sequences: Unbelievably Cool But Like, “I Don’t Know How He Does It”

Let’s talk about the action sequences because sweet Lord, if you didn’t feel at least five times cooler after watching Denzel take down entire groups of people, then you’re lying to yourself. It’s like if you mixed Bruce Wayne with a Lumberjack—Denzel walks into the room, and suddenly you know someone’s about to get a serious beatdown. The best part? He doesn’t even rush it. Oh no, Robert McCall is the type of guy who’s like, “I’ve been in worse situations... let me just make this look easy while you go cry about it afterward.”

In one scene, he takes out an entire group of Russian mobsters using a toolbox. Like, how do you make fighting with a toolbox look this cool? Robert McCall doesn’t need a bunch of fancy gadgets—just some basic tools and serious attitude. It’s like Denzel was born with the power to turn a regular old item into a weapon of mass destruction. Honestly, I’m afraid to ever look at a hammer again after watching him in action. What if it gets too powerful in my hands? Like, how can I ever go back to being a regular human after seeing that? The toolbox is now a symbol of total domination in my life.

And let’s not forget the way McCall doesn’t just physically hurt people. Oh, no. He mentally wrecks people, too. He uses this calm, collected demeanor that makes him look like he’s just having a regular day at work. Meanwhile, the villains are freaking out because they just realized they messed with the wrong guy. You don’t even see it coming. It’s all just so incredibly satisfying.

The Villains: Russian Mobsters Who Learn The Hard Way

And then, we have the villains—because what’s an action movie without some insanely tough bad guys who have no idea what they’re in for? Enter the Russian mobsters, who I’m sure thought they could easily deal with some random former black-ops agent who now just hangs out at a hardware store. They thought wrong. It’s like they underestimated the guy who’s already one step ahead. They’re the guys who think they can win the game... but Robert McCall doesn’t play by their rules.

The best thing about these villains is that they’re so typical—they do all the villainous things that make you roll your eyes. “Oh, you kidnapped the wrong person? What a surprise.” But that’s the thing: Robert McCall is so far above themthat it’s almost hilarious. He just lets them make their mistakes and then calmly swoops in to fix everything, teaching them that being a bad guy doesn’t always go according to plan.

Final Thoughts: A Normal Guy Doing Superhuman Things and Still Looking Cool

So, after everything I’ve said, let me leave you with this: The Equalizer is one of those films where you can’t help but look at the screen and think, “This is the kind of movie I would’ve watched with a giant bag of popcorn.” It’s got the perfect mix of Denzel’s coolness, some seriously satisfying action, and a plot that will have you invested. You want to watch Robert McCall take on the world, one bad guy at a time, and make it look way easier than it should be.

Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (9 out of 10 stars)

So grab your popcorn, your toolbox, and get ready to watch a guy who might just be the most badass normal person in the history of cinema. Just remember, if you ever see him in the grocery store, don't mess with him. Or you’ll find yourself questioning your life choices.