Mickey 17 – (2025)

Release Date: March 29, 2025
Director: Bong Joon-ho
Starring: Robert Pattinson, Naomi Ackie, Steven Yeun, Mark Ruffalo, Toni Collette

So, I decided to take the plunge and get my ass to the cinema to watch Mickey 17. Now, I’m not gonna lie—I had hopes for this one. Bong Joon-ho directed it, and the man gave us Parasite, one of my all-time favorite movies. You throw in Robert Pattinson, who’s been making bolder career moves than anyone expected post-Twilight, and you’ve got a film that at least should have had something special.

But you know me—I don’t watch movies sober. So I grabbed an afternoon cocktail (a strong one, because sci-fi always makes more sense that way), found my seat, and prepared myself for something either brilliant or an absolute mess. And, well…

A Marvel Trailer That Stole the Show

Before we even got to Mickey 17, there was a trailer for Thunderbolts (2025), and let me tell you, that one had my attention. Bucky Barnes is back, and the lineup looks insane—Florence Pugh as Yelena Belova, David Harbour as Red Guardian, and Wyatt Russell’s U.S. Agent all in one movie? Marvel’s been throwing everything at the wall lately, but this might actually be one of their more interesting projects. Honestly, by the time the trailer ended, I was more excited for that than for the movie I actually paid to see. Should've just left then.

The Plot: Clones, Colonization, and Wasted Potential

So, Mickey 17 kicks off with Robert Pattinson’s character, Mickey Barnes (Mickey 17), stranded in a frozen wasteland, on the verge of death. Then—boom—flashback. Apparently, the latest trend in sci-fi is to start with the main character about to die, then rewind to explain how they got there. It’s a trope at this point, but sure, let’s roll with it.

The premise itself is actually really cool: In the distant future, humanity is colonizing new planets, and they use disposable workers called Expendables—people whose consciousness can be transferred into a fresh, identical body every time they die. Mickey 17 is one of these workers, and every time he’s killed (which happens a lot), a brand-new Mickey gets printed out with all of his memories intact. In theory, he’s immortal.

Sounds like it should be deep, right? An exploration of mortality, identity, and whether or not someone with infinite lives still has a soul? Yeah… the movie flirts with those ideas but never really commits to exploring them in any meaningful way. Instead, it gets bogged down in a messy plot full of corporate greed, survival politics, and some alien creatures that are built up as major threats but end up being about as intimidating as a wet sock.

The Cast: Big Names, Mixed Results

So let’s talk performances.

Robert Pattinson is solid—he always is. He brings that signature mix of charm and unease that he does so well, but the script doesn’t give him enough to work with. Instead of being an active protagonist driving the story forward, he spends a lot of the movie reacting to things, looking confused, and making bad life choices. Basically, he’s playing me after three margaritas.

Naomi Ackie plays Nasha, a scientist who clearly has more depth than the movie lets her show. I’ve seen her in Blink Twice and Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, and she’s got serious acting chops. But here, she’s stuck in the "smart but concerned love interest" role, and it never goes beyond that. She deserved better. We all did.

Steven Yeun is also here as Berto, Mickey’s closest ally, but man… this guy deserves better. Yeun is one of the most talented actors working today (Minari, Beef, The Walking Dead), yet Mickey 17 gives him next to nothing to do. He’s basically just there to remind us that exposition exists.

And then there’s Mark Ruffalo as Commander Solomon, the corporate boss overseeing the colonization project. Imagine if Jeff Bezos and a Bond villain had a baby, and that baby grew up to be obsessed with power but had zero charisma. That’s his character. It’s like the movie was trying to make him a complex villain, but instead, he’s just a cartoonishly evil CEO with the depth of a puddle.

The Movie’s Problems: Where It All Went Wrong

1. The Script is Weak
The premise is incredible, but the writing doesn’t do it justice. The story constantly tells us things instead of showing them, and whenever it starts to explore an interesting idea—boom, it moves on to something else. The dialogue? Bland. The character development? About as thin as my patience by the halfway mark.

2. The Alien Creatures are Useless
The movie hypes up these mysterious alien beings that apparently have some deeper connection to the colony, but guess what? They barely matter. They’re just thrown in for tension, but the movie never commits to making them a real part of the plot. It’s like they were added last minute because someone said, "Hey, this is sci-fi, we need aliens."

3. The Pacing is a Disaster
At just over two hours, Mickey 17 isn’t super long, but man, it feels long. Some parts drag on forever, while others rush through key moments. The middle act, in particular, is a snooze fest. I caught myself checking my watch at least three times—and I was on cocktail number two, which usually makes everything entertaining.

The Reception: Critics and Audiences Aren’t Feeling It

So how did Mickey 17 do? Not great.

It opened to a disappointing $19.1 million in North America—way below expectations. By its second weekend, it had dropped 60%, bringing its domestic total to $33.2 million. Globally, it’s at $90.4 million, but with a $118 million budget, that’s not exactly a win.

Critics are split. Some called it “a zany and thought-provoking satire”, while others said it fails to capture the brilliance of Bong Joon-ho’s past films. The Financial Times gave it two stars, calling it “passable but underwhelming.”

Final Verdict: A Wasted Opportunity

At the end of the day, Mickey 17 had potential, but it completely wasted it. The idea was there, the cast was there, the director was there—but the movie just doesn’t work. It’s shallow, poorly paced, and ultimately forgettable.

Would I watch it again? Hell no. Would I recommend it? Only if you’re really into sci-fi and have nothing better to do.

Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐ (4 out of 10 stars)

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to a bar to recover from two hours of my life I’ll never get back.