Emily the Criminal – 2022

Release Date: August 12, 2022
Director: John Patton Ford
Starring: Aubrey Plaza, Theo Rossi, and Bernardo Badillo

So there I was, having just survived yet another ridiculously long day. I mean, it was the kind of day that makes you consider becoming a professional napper. Work was... well, work, and my brain was already fried. After several hours of scrolling through my phone, I finally decided, “Screw it, I’m watching something!” I flicked through Netflix like a man on a mission, only to land on Emily the Criminal. I read the title and thought, “Hmm, this sounds like a Tuesday night movie.” Grabbed a drink (or three), cozied up on the couch, and prepared myself for what could either be the worstdecision of the night or the best. Spoiler alert: It was the best decision of the night. Get ready, because this movie was about to rob me of my evening—and I didn’t even care.

Okay, let’s be honest: I didn’t expect to be legally entertained when I hit play on Emily the Criminal. I was a few beers in, just scrolling through Netflix, and BAM, I see Aubrey Plaza on my screen. Look, when Aubrey Plaza is in the movie, I know I'm in for something wild. But I wasn’t ready for this gritty little flick to crawl inside my brain, kick me in the feels, and make me root for a criminal mastermind in the making.

I can already hear you: “What kind of person am I turning into?” Hey, it’s not like Emily wants to be a criminal mastermind, but when life’s throwing student loans at you like it’s dodgeball, sometimes you’ve got to make some... creative decisions, okay? Let’s dive into this mess of crime, moral ambiguity, and Aubrey Plaza's one-liners, shall we?

The Plot: I’d Rob a Bank Just to Avoid My Student Loans

The premise is simple. Emily, played by the queen of deadpan herself, Aubrey Plaza, is an ex-convict who’s trying to make a living in a world that is so stacked against her, it’s like the universe just handed her a pile of bricks and said, “Here, build a house, but no one’s giving you a hammer.” She’s stuck in low-wage hell, working a barely-there job at a catering company, and she’s got student debt up to her neck. I mean, come on, haven’t we all been there? But Emily doesn’t go for a cute yoga class or a side hustle selling essential oils on Instagram—no, she goes full-on Breaking Badstyle. She joins a crime ring to do some credit card fraud, making fake cards for some sketchy dudes who are just as shady as a guy who asks for your Netflix password and then doesn’t even say thank you.

Now, normally, you’d watch a movie about a woman breaking bad and be like, “Is she gonna learn her lesson and start giving to charity by the end of it?” But nah, Emily’s like, “No, I’m not gonna learn anything—I’m just here to get things done.” There’s no moral high ground in sight—just the hustle, the chaos, and the sweet sweet adrenaline of committing petty crime in broad daylight.

Aubrey Plaza: The Queen of Crime and Sarcasm

Let’s talk about Aubrey Plaza, because—let’s face it—if you came here for anything else, you’re wrong. Aubrey Plaza isthe movie. I mean, she’s got the kind of face that says, “I’m not mad, I’m just disappointed that you didn’t bring me tacos.” She plays Emily with that signature deadpan humor that’s made her a pop culture treasure. You know the vibe—the “I’ll casually rob a bank with a smile” kind of energy. But, like, in a cool way.

Now, let’s be clear: this isn’t a role where she’s just cracking sarcastic jokes every five seconds (though, let’s be real, that’s what we all love her for). Here, Aubrey’s really tapping into something darker—her character Emily is a woman trying to get ahead by any means necessary. She’s not trying to save the world or cure cancer—she’s just trying to survive.

And honestly? I’m here for it. Aubrey’s delivery of those cold, almost robotic one-liners makes you feel like you’re sitting next to a mob boss at the dinner table. Like, she's got zero emotional attachment to anything happening around her, but for some reason, you’re just sitting there like, “Yup, if anyone can pull off fraud with this much grace, it’s her.” She also does this perfectly subtle thing where she plays up how the whole world seems against her—just the right amount of “Woe is me” mixed with I’m going to rob you now vibes. It’s an absolute masterclass.

Plus, she doesn’t just deliver that snarky, sarcastic persona—we actually see a more human side of her. You get to see the little cracks in her character, the moments of fear that make you think, “Wait, what if she actually does get caught and has to face the consequences of all this... illegal nonsense?” But then Emily just shrugs and says, “I’m just trying to pay my bills.” And, honestly, I don’t even blame her.

The Gritty Vibes: Making Fraud Look Too Sexy

Okay, now that we’ve established that Aubrey Plaza is the best thing since sliced bread, let’s talk about the rest of the movie. Let me start with the film’s tone: It’s gritty. Like, dirt-under-your-fingernails gritty. This isn’t some flashy Hollywood crime caper with fast cars and neon lights. It’s raw, it’s a little dirty, and it’s just the right amount of uncomfortable. And honestly, that’s what makes it work.

The whole aesthetic of this film feels like it was shot on the backstreets of a city where everything smells like regret and expired pizza. There’s something very real about the way it’s filmed. It’s not glossed up with unnecessary camera tricks. Instead, the cinematography follows Emily’s every move with a camera that feels like it’s right there in the mess with her. You can feel the tension in every frame—like you’re living in the moment with Emily, calculating your next move, and also hoping you don’t get caught. It’s like being in a crime documentary—but, like, a really entertaining one where the protagonist makes questionable decisions while wearing a leather jacket that screams “I’m definitely not a law-abiding citizen.”

Also, the pacing of the film is pretty spot on. It doesn’t waste time building unnecessary suspense or forcing us to care about characters we’ll forget in five minutes. Emily’s whole journey from victim to villain unfolds organically, and it never feels like you’re dragging along behind her.

The Supporting Cast: Not Here for the Oscar, But Here for the Drama

Let’s talk supporting characters. There’s Theo Rossi, who plays Youcef—Emily’s shady but strangely endearing partner in crime. Look, Theo does a decent job playing the mysterious gangster with a heart of... well, maybe not gold, but possibly aluminum foil? His character is interesting enough, though, I’ll be honest—there’s no real depth here. He’s the guy who gives her a chance to do fraud, and... yeah, that’s about it. But hey, he’s a useful prop for the movie to keep moving forward, so I’m not mad at him.

There’s also Bernardo Badillo playing a character named Gonzalo—who’s basically a tough guy with a soft side, but I’m not gonna pretend I remembered his name after the credits rolled. Look, I’m sure they all did their best, but we’re all here to see Aubrey Plaza turn a crime spree into a performance art piece, right?

Final Thoughts: Should You Watch It?

Listen, if you’ve ever wanted to see Aubrey Plaza rob a bank while making you feel like you’re the one who should be in jail for enjoying it so much, then Emily the Criminal is for you. It’s a movie that doesn’t pretend to be anything it’s not—it’s gritty, it’s raw, and it’s got a protagonist who’s got no time for your moral compass. Aubrey Plaza is perfect as Emily, and she makes this movie a damn delight to watch. Plus, you’ll walk away feeling like you’ve learned nothing about criminality but everything about how to look effortlessly cool while committing fraud. (But, like, don’t actually try this at home, okay?)

So, grab your drink, hit play, and let Emily take you on a ride through the criminal underworld. It’s not high art, but it’s definitely fun art. And isn’t that what we need sometimes?

Final Rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ (7 out of 10 stars)

Aubrey Plaza, fraud, and pizza—what more could you possibly want in life? Just remember, don't actually rob any banks after watching this, okay?